My husband cheated, and I still played a good wife for 4 years for my 5-year-old daughter.

　　▲ network diagram

　　Recently, two videos of bilibili UP's "Little Lanzi Living in the World" triggered a heated discussion among netizens.

　　One is "truly recording divorce with a 9-year-old daughter, how to guide the least harm". In the video, the whole process of the daughter from the initial shock to the middle crying to the final reconciliation was completely recorded.

　　In the video, the UP owner and her ex-husband are calm and restrained, and constantly emphasize to their daughter that although they are no longer husband and wife, they are still the parents of the girl and will always maintain their love for her. When the girl asked if they would remarry, the UP owner and ex-husband didn't lie and say no to take care of the girl's emotions, but said the future was uncertain realistically. As her daughter's questions were answered sincerely one by one, she was relieved at last, and even made a joke about UP, saying that she could talk about brother-sister love.

　　Xiao Lanzi told the story in another video. It turned out that when her ex-husband cheated four years ago, the two divorced, but considering that her daughter was only 5 years old at that time, in order not to hurt her and to dilute the cost of living, the two still lived together under one roof, but never communicated again. She admits that she looks like a 24-hour performer and is exhausted. Finally, four years later, when the child was 9 years old, he confessed all this.

　　Now, for various reasons, many divorced couples are forced to divorce and stay at home, and this chronic divorce has also given birth to many complications, and the home has become a carpeted cage.

　　Enes

　　Is it necessary to divorce and not leave home?

　　“

　　As a married mother, the shopkeeper doesn't approve of this UP owner's state of "divorce and not leaving home" for four years.

　　In the past, many couples in China traditionally believed that "for the sake of children" and "divorce without leaving home" is a modern version of this state. If it was to take care of the psychological state of the five-year-old daughter at that time, in fact, psychologists have pointed out that as long as they don't quarrel or have a cold war in front of children and don't speak ill of each other, children are more likely to accept the separation of their parents as a state of life.

　　If you have to "live under the same roof" in order to "dilute the cost of living", there is no need to live together after four years of divorce. After all, the two have no relationship legally, but they just need to raise their daughters together. Divorced couples live together, how to completely separate their finances? What if one partner wants to start a new emotional life? After divorce, it is difficult to completely divide the property for a while, and one party may have difficulty in moving out immediately. These are understandable, but they can't always live together. Such divorce is somewhat ambiguous and the relationship between the two is somewhat awkward.

　　The experience of this UP owner is quite special. At present, the result is satisfactory, but the shopkeeper thinks it is not worth following. After all, the UP owner may only talk about the sunny side in order to spread the effect, right?

　　"

　　The rope is easy to break

　　Inertia is the first law of human nature.

　　“

　　The first of Newton's three laws is the law of inertia: any object must keep moving in a straight line or at rest at a constant speed until an external force forces it to change its state of motion.

　　Therefore, derailment or even divorce is a sudden external force for the injured party. Involving economy, feelings, parents, children and so on, the CPU of human brain can't handle so many parallel tasks in a short time, so it is a strategy for UP owners to adopt the transition mode of divorce and not leaving home, so that they can have a gentle slope to get off the bus and avoid falling off a cliff and landing hard.

　　However, when an acute disease turns into a chronic disease, although the symptoms are alleviated, the pain lasts longer, and eventually it will only wear people away. The shopkeeper suggested that after the initial acute phase, the parties should cut the gordian knot and start to deal with this emotional tumor.

　　In all relationships, the most difficult thing to deal with and the most difficult thing to give up is children. As the daughter in the video said, although she was so sad that she cried for a while, she finally thanked her mother for telling her the truth. So don't underestimate the child's adaptability and hand over the choice to her.

　　Real pain can give people more power to move forward than illusory beauty. No matter how well a happy wife plays, there will be a day when the play will end. One day before she finishes, she can embrace real life one day earlier.

　　"

　　If you have any worries,

　　Please pay attention to this WeChat and leave a message to Zhou Junjun.

　　The shopkeepers will provide you with professional answers.

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